Waldo, why are you always lost? Are you actually lost, or just hiding?
I tend to question the validity of your being lost because you always look so damn happy whenever I do manage to find you. Anytime I have ever been lost no one would make the mistake of thinking I was cheerful. Yet there you are standing next to some guy carrying a jug amongst a bunch of gobbling gluttons with that little shit-eating grin on your face. The striped shirt simply is not cutting it if you really do desire to be found, especially since you like hanging around so many striped things! I propose Mr. Waldo (if that’s your real name, what is it you are trying to run from here?) is outfitted with some sort of tracking device, that way the next time he is “lost” I won’t have to stare at some badly drawn assemblage of trying-too-hard-to-be-funny characters for an extended period of time. Of course you would never agree to this, would you Waldo? You get your rocks off making people worry about finding your dorky ass, you narcissistic bastard. Waldo, you are an attention whore, get lost and stay that way.
No one hides so diligently from numerous seekers as Waldo does. Waldo clearly isn’t hiding just for a child’s playtime. If you end up playing along with his game, searching for him page after page, you can quickly notice he's always lurking around dense public areas waiting to set off disaster… Yes my friends, Waldo is an obvious terrorist. The only reason Homeland Security isn't after him is because he’s one of the worst terrorist to ever attempt terror. Waldo is so bad that he often openly brags about his "terrific" occupation in terrorism and has been known to lie about jobs he had nothing to do with. Don’t let the innocent looking guy with a striped shirt fool you -next time you find Waldo hiding among crowded areas you can (and should) point and laugh at his attempted facade as a terrorist.